Comparatively Awesome

I don’t know about you, but occasionally I find that I compare myself to others.  Sundays are typically when I’m at my “comparative” worst. I feel fat, dumpy, and weird as we walk into church.  My kids aren’t the ones who go up and bear their testimonies or have the trendiest clothes.  My house is a disaster.  I feel so disorganized!  I don’t always manage to get through all our lessons each week. Sometimes I think people must wonder how such a nice, outgoing man like my husband ended up with a cantankerous introvert like me.
Or I wonder when people say things like “Wow, homeschooling.  You must be super-mom,” they really mean “Wow, homeschooling.  You must be a nut-job/right-wing zealot/anti-establishment freak.” And, of course, all of these lousy things are because I am a weak, inadequate person who can’t get her act together!
One day, I was moaning to a friend about how pathetic I was feeling and how life just stinks, she interrupted me with, “Tell me about the good things in your life.”  This threw me a little, as I half hoped she’d reassure me of my awesomeness.  But she didn’t tell me how great I am.  She wanted ME to list the good things.  So, feeling kind of dumb at first, I did.
I am relatively healthy and still have the time and ability to improve my fitness.  I recently found a single sheet of loose-leaf paper with my oldest daughter’s testimony of Jesus Christ and how she loves Him written on it.  My kids are acutely aware of being modest and not afraid to express themselves with their own (quirky!) sense of style.  I have a snug home that my family feels loved and safe in.  I’m spontaneous and resourceful!  My kids are becoming more self-motivated and I often catch the older ones helping the younger ones. My husband and I complement each other—he’s the steady bass beat to my improvisational riffs.  And I have an incredibly supportive network of friends who understand and accept my homeschooling lifestyle. (And remind me to be grateful for all that I have!)
The Lord has promised “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)
This scripture helps me not be so hard on myself.  There’s hope when I’m feeling pathetic!  The Lord says if we’re humble than his grace is sufficient—he’ll strengthen us!  Wahoo! I think tied to humility is gratitude—and if we can find something to be grateful for, we can find what we’re blessed with—and if we can find our blessings, we can find ways to strengthen our weaknesses.  It is our nature to have high expectations of ourselves—and we should.  But let’s not be dragged down when we feel we don’t measure up.  God gave us weaknesses to keep us humble—and if we’re humble, He promises to strengthen us. 
So carry on, thank the Lord, and know He’ll strengthen you.  He knows exactly what you need.
Marissa Pineda
DHSA Vice President