Walk into a Hug

LOVE -- what a Happy word!

That simple word can bring so many feelings, stir so many emotions, bring to remembrance such tender memories, can inspire within us the desire to create magical moments in our lives.

Love comes in various forms; the love we have for our spouse, the love we feel as a mother, the love we possess for friends, for extended family.

I feel a great urgency to focus on the sweet children in my life, to nurture within myself the love that I, as a mother, have for our children; to strengthen and renew the relationships I have with each of them. This is an ever challenging battle (especially if you are Momma to teenagers). I say that with a smile in my heart, because I truly feel blessed knowing that my kids and I are close, everything is not perfect (I’d be lying to you if I said it were, but it’s pretty darn close and I am pleased to say that!)

Even with that little comment, I can see where I have a lot of room for growth, for improvement. My goal would be that my kids NEVER doubted my love and devotion to them. That they always felt they were of upmost importance in my world. That they could FEEL the love I hold in my heart for each of them. I would hope that they would always feel that they were walking right into a hug as they approach me. I know that I fail at this more often than I’d care to admit.

Being the Mom is not as easy as I had once imagined it might be…

It is more rewarding than I had ever dreamed possible, but certainly more challenging!

With the choice we’ve made to have our kids home with us instead of away at the local school…we spend practically every waking moment in their presence. BUT, if you are anything like me, life is full and we can tend to “be there” without “being available” to them.

Do you light up when your son walks into the room, do you stop to listen to your little girl as she shows off her latest work of creativity? Do you quickly and happily pay attention when the prodding from a little person calls for you, or do you hush them asking for just another minute before you get to them?

The past few weeks have taught me some very powerful lessons. I have been found very guilty of putting my kids off until I have a moment for them, my little one came to me the other day with a desperate sort of tone in her voice; apparently she had been trying to speak to me and I was in my own little world…this was not acceptable to her! Yes, she does believe she should be the center of my universe and I will not disagree, but at this moment my thoughts were anywhere but where they should have been focused. I was grateful for the not-so-gentle reminder that I was unavailable as the Momma at that point and time.

Unfortunately, not all children will remind us in such a way…some may just give up and find the challenge of obtaining our attention a useless cause. I am recognizing this in some of my kiddos and am determined to make sure they know that I am available for them, that they are a priority in my world, that other things can wait and they don’t need to.

During this lovely month of February, my goal is to provide an environment in which my children really will feel as though they’ve walked into a hug as they approach me…I want them to feel all warm and fuzzy inside…I want them to take those feelings with them, to be strengthened by the comfort that comes with knowing you are loved.

The Re-Set Button

One day, my daughter was having one of “those” days. For whatever reason, things just weren’t going her way, and she was letting the rest of us know exactly how mad she was about it. Everything was a drama, a disaster, a point of argument. She was making life miserable for the rest of us with her attitude and I quickly turned sour, myself. I was ready to boot the kid into next week!

Things did not improve as the day wore on and in the early afternoon, my daughter came unglued at her siblings, AGAIN. I was in another room when I heard her hollering, and I’d had enough. I was furious. I pounded into the room, ready to give the girl a piece of my mind and to order her to KNOCK IT OFF! I took a deep breath, and yelled over my daughter’s yelling, “GET OVER HERE!”

I was ready to ground her or banish her. But as she walked to me, hunched against “the wrath of Mom,” her face drawn with dejection and frustration, I felt a strong impression to hug her. I all but yanked her into my arms.

It surprised us both. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said, “You looked like you needed a hug.” She burst into tears and just nodded, practically burrowing into me.

We stood there for a long time, my daughter’s jerky, tight sobs gradually lessening, loosening. I felt my anger at her dissolve and my compassion for her build, and even rocked back and forth with her, as she were an oversized baby. I realized then that it had been awhile since I had really hugged this child and let her know that I am here for her, in good times—and in bad times—especially in bad times!

The whole experience was like hitting the re-set button. All the tension and anger and frustration were gone. We couldn’t un-do what happened earlier in the day, but with that hug—that physical reconnection and reminder that I love her—my daughter and I were able to move forward in a positive direction for the rest of the day.

In the days that followed, when I’ve gotten frustrated, or noticed that one of the kids is frustrated, I’ve tried to remember to find a way to “re-set.” I may not be able to change my circumstances, but I can change my attitude, and influence the others around me, if I am willing to stop—and re-set. Sometimes, it’s a hug. Sometimes, it’s a joke. Sometimes, it’s bursting into song. Sometimes, it’s just an open admission, “You know what? This isn’t going well—let’s ‘re-set.’”

I hope if you find yourself or your kids struggling on a given day (week, month, year) that you have a “re-set button” to help restore happiness and humor.

You are doing such profound, amazing work. Don’t forget that. Consider this a virtual hug from me. You’re awesome, ladies!

 

Marissa Pineda
Vice President

January’s Mother’s Meeting Review

Last week many of us got out for an evening of Laughter for No Reason! Ok so it was a little weird.... talk about take us out of the norm... but that sorta was the whole point. A great instructor in the art of Laughter Yoga came and gave us a cardiovascular work-out that I, for one, actually enjoyed. No bikes, stair-steppers or treadmills, just good old Laughing. It was interesting how it felt to say my name and have everyone laugh afterwards, it sort of made me feel funny like I was in 7th grade again and on the spot, but then it was also healing, because I realized that's what everyone was SUPPOSED to be doing and I just needed to lighten up and enjoy myself.!!!! So I did, and I also watched everyone else. We had a wide variety of comfortableness with letting go in that room. 

What I think most everyone came away with though, was the idea that laughter is healing, and yeah, sometimes we have to force it at first, but genuine laughter feels good, and is Oh, So Contagious!

LOL, Lynnelle

Come Get Your Austen On!

Need a night out? How ‘bout a chick flick with the girls at Stacey Lytle’s place? Meet us on Friday, Feb. 17 at 6 PM at 1298 N. Cambrick in Kuna.  Bring your best British accent and favorite munchie to share as we watch Jane Austen’s classic, Sense and Sensibility!