Why Fix what isn’t broken?

I started homeschooling three years ago, in January. At the time I had a third grader and a first grader. My husband and I had spent a couple of years researching educational options for our family and came to the conclusion that we were meant to homeschool. We fasted and prayed for confirmation on our decision and received it. We had planned on just NOT putting our kids back in school in September, but somewhere between the intense feeling of RIGHTNESS about our decision in June and the giddy back-to-school hype in the world around us in August, we lost our nerve. We felt crushing insecurity and enough fear to send us jack-rabbiting back to the local public school. It didn’t help that my daughter’s teacher was in our ward, and had apparently hand-picked all the third graders from our ward to be in her class.

“Things will be fine,” we told ourselves. “Mrs. So-and-So is a GREAT lady, and by all accounts, an amazing teacher. She wants our daughter in her class! And we can always pull the kids out later, if we still feel like maybe we should...”

School started and by all traditional measures, the kids were doing fine. They liked public school, they had plenty of friends, good teachers, the kids were excelling academically—even being challenged some, but not to the point of discouragement. Everything was FINE. Except, it really wasn’t. We felt “off” somehow. After receiving confirmation from the Holy Ghost that homeschooling was truly the best choice for OUR family, we had turned our backs on it—succumbed to fear. Lost faith.

It was a terrible feeling, and it didn’t diminish even as my husband and I tried to rationalize it away. We kept repeating my mother’s opinion, “Why fix what isn’t broken?” She had a point—good school, good kids, good friends, good teachers---that wasn’t the broken part.

The broken part was our lack of faith to step out into the unknown and trust that God would show us the way to educate our children and help them develop a testimony of Jesus and his Gospel.

I often get asked what prompted us to homeschool. To be honest, the answer depends on the day, and the longer we do it, the more reasons we find that we didn’t even KNOW at the time we made the decision. But one thing encompasses all the answers I could give—and that is we chose to homeschool to deepen our relationships with each other and with the Lord. To develop our faith—faith in God, faith in ourselves, faith in our children.

Our first test of faith was to see if we’d really do this crazy homeschooling thing. It took us awhile to gather enough courage to jump in, even after we knew we should. And the first four months were pretty hellacious. The kids cried every day. I cried every day. But I didn’t want to face the Lord and say, “I didn’t do my best because it was too scary and I didn’t believe You would be there with me.” So we all kept going—and gradually, miraculously, things got better. I could see the hand of God daily. I still do.

We’ve come a long way in three years.

I look back on our first “official” homeschool day and smile at my bewildered, insecure self and my dejected, confused kids. We really had no idea what we were in for. But for all the stumbling and difficulty getting started and feelings of inadequacy, it’s been an amazing journey. We’ve all been stretched emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I’ve had the joy of seeing my children grow in all facets of their little lives, and I can see NOW how my faith has expanded and deepened.

So, here’s to another January—another New Year of homeschooling—I’m putting my hand in the Lord’s and taking a few more steps in faith. Whatever the next year brings for you, I hope you do the same and I hope you feel His love and guidance as you go along. Happy New Year!

 

Marissa Pineda
Vice President